My constant insistence on being alone and not wanting to have things explained or shown to me! My mom and I have talked about this recently. From a very young age, I always wanted to go be by myself and figure out the thing (whatever it was) in my own way. Looking back, I can't help but read it as a kind of instinctual knowing: that I would not understand it from a "normal" perspective and needed to get there on my own. I think, too, so much of the masking that kicked in later on was an attempt to pretend I understood things in the same way my peers do...
My constant insistence on being alone and not wanting to have things explained or shown to me! My mom and I have talked about this recently. From a very young age, I always wanted to go be by myself and figure out the thing (whatever it was) in my own way. Looking back, I can't help but read it as a kind of instinctual knowing: that I would not understand it from a "normal" perspective and needed to get there on my own. I think, too, so much of the masking that kicked in later on was an attempt to pretend I understood things in the same way my peers do...
<3
I totally relate to "an attempt to pretend I understood things in the same way my peers do." <3