I wanted to continue the cross-cultural conversation from the perspective of a queer Aussie listener.
I've kept returning to the phrase, “you don’t know how good you have it” in my mind. What’s often missed is the years of choices, effort, and ongoing protection that go into creating something better. When it works, the point is that society no longer knows that level of suffering. It's like when the next generation seems entitled or lush to the previous, but the whole point is to work at giving them a better world.
Reactions like “that’s adorable” can sound cynical, but they also reveal something deeper. Surviving within one system requires internalising certain values—it’s unavoidable. Moving into another context forces those values into the open. In this case, it is the value of human life, and the way many of us are conditioned to accept indifference and inaction from the majority.
The moment about survivor’s guilt feels significant. Some of the cynicism may be grief: the recognition that past suffering and cruelty were always preventable. Seeing a functioning example elsewhere proves it never had to be that way.
For me, this episode isn’t only about geopolitical culture. It speaks to how Autistic people experience culture shock in general—how we develop survival strategies, and how our values shift or get challenged when we step into new contexts. Do we continue relying-on and passing down survival-based internalisations? Do we do the harder thing and take on the freedom and work of adopting a new perspective?
This connects deeply with my own mid-life Autistic identity shock—unlearning internalised ableism and other forms of oppression. It’s difficult to accept that things might actually be better, that I have more cultural resources and am more empowered than before (yet still not an omnipotent Q, damn!). It’s a hard process letting go of these entrenched protection strategies that were never truly mine, never truly aligned with my values.
Anyway, thanks for the episode and the pod, LLAP 🖖♾️🧠🏳️🌈✨
I wish I could leave the US. I mean, I love my state and my heritage - my great grandmother's brother is listed as a historic artist for his music on the Blue Ridge National Heritage Area site, and my father played too. But, well....yeah, we all know.
Oh, another podcast I listen to is Dark Side of Seoul. The hosts are an American and a Canadian who moved to South Korea and I'm pretty sure at least one of them is One Of Us. ;)
Speaking of, we recently started a new kdrama, Study Group. We're only two episodes in but the male lead character is very much One Of Us. It has a lot of violence, though. He ends up at a bad school because he doesn't jive well with the neurotypical school system and the school's social life is run by a violent bully. But the lead character has trained in martial arts for years because he once heard "strong body, strong mind" and he thinks it will help with studying, so he's earnestly trying to study while effortlessly deflecting the attacks of the bullies. He needs some more people to join his study group and in just the first two episodes he's made one friend and I imagine he'll make more. :) If you can handle the violence, I highly recommend it. :) It's on Viki that I know of - Viki is a streaming service with lots of Asian content and I think their translations are better than Netflix's.
I was talking to my husband about other autistic coded characters in kdramas and we couldn't immediately think of a female one other than Extraordinary Attorney Woo, but we'll keep our eyes open for it.
Oh, also my husband said all 10 slots for the audience for his tea presentation are filled! :)
I, myself, am an Aussie expat living up here in Scotland.
I’m looking forward to Matt’s book being released.
Just one thing — the TV quiz program Pointless, in my opinion, is an autistic show. The aim is to correctly guess the most obscure answer (not a wrong answer as suggested) — Angela, you would be a whizz on questions about Crowded House.
Hey - yes of course Pointless is very Autistic! As are most game shows here. My husband and I love 9 out of 10 Cats, Taskmaster, University Challenge, and Only Connect (and Mastermind!) all very Autistic. We have an episode on how Jeopardy in the US is Autistic too - check it if you haven't already!
BTW - the book is mine and was written by me so I hope it doesn't disappoint you. :-P
You will definitely hear a lot of Matt's ideas in there as he is a big influence to me and did a round of edits where he added things to what I was attributing to him. <3
Ok, I must’ve misunderstood Matt’s plug of the book, but I’m still looking forward to it.
I’m sure I’ll have listened to the Jeopardy episode — I’ve been binging on the Podcast, at work, since I discovered it — sometimes up to four episodes a day.
I did audition for the Australian Jeopardy show thirty odd years ago, but didn’t get past the first step, lol
I wanted to continue the cross-cultural conversation from the perspective of a queer Aussie listener.
I've kept returning to the phrase, “you don’t know how good you have it” in my mind. What’s often missed is the years of choices, effort, and ongoing protection that go into creating something better. When it works, the point is that society no longer knows that level of suffering. It's like when the next generation seems entitled or lush to the previous, but the whole point is to work at giving them a better world.
Reactions like “that’s adorable” can sound cynical, but they also reveal something deeper. Surviving within one system requires internalising certain values—it’s unavoidable. Moving into another context forces those values into the open. In this case, it is the value of human life, and the way many of us are conditioned to accept indifference and inaction from the majority.
The moment about survivor’s guilt feels significant. Some of the cynicism may be grief: the recognition that past suffering and cruelty were always preventable. Seeing a functioning example elsewhere proves it never had to be that way.
For me, this episode isn’t only about geopolitical culture. It speaks to how Autistic people experience culture shock in general—how we develop survival strategies, and how our values shift or get challenged when we step into new contexts. Do we continue relying-on and passing down survival-based internalisations? Do we do the harder thing and take on the freedom and work of adopting a new perspective?
This connects deeply with my own mid-life Autistic identity shock—unlearning internalised ableism and other forms of oppression. It’s difficult to accept that things might actually be better, that I have more cultural resources and am more empowered than before (yet still not an omnipotent Q, damn!). It’s a hard process letting go of these entrenched protection strategies that were never truly mine, never truly aligned with my values.
Anyway, thanks for the episode and the pod, LLAP 🖖♾️🧠🏳️🌈✨
I wish I could leave the US. I mean, I love my state and my heritage - my great grandmother's brother is listed as a historic artist for his music on the Blue Ridge National Heritage Area site, and my father played too. But, well....yeah, we all know.
Oh, another podcast I listen to is Dark Side of Seoul. The hosts are an American and a Canadian who moved to South Korea and I'm pretty sure at least one of them is One Of Us. ;)
Speaking of, we recently started a new kdrama, Study Group. We're only two episodes in but the male lead character is very much One Of Us. It has a lot of violence, though. He ends up at a bad school because he doesn't jive well with the neurotypical school system and the school's social life is run by a violent bully. But the lead character has trained in martial arts for years because he once heard "strong body, strong mind" and he thinks it will help with studying, so he's earnestly trying to study while effortlessly deflecting the attacks of the bullies. He needs some more people to join his study group and in just the first two episodes he's made one friend and I imagine he'll make more. :) If you can handle the violence, I highly recommend it. :) It's on Viki that I know of - Viki is a streaming service with lots of Asian content and I think their translations are better than Netflix's.
I was talking to my husband about other autistic coded characters in kdramas and we couldn't immediately think of a female one other than Extraordinary Attorney Woo, but we'll keep our eyes open for it.
Oh, also my husband said all 10 slots for the audience for his tea presentation are filled! :)
Great show today, I’ve finally caught up!
I, myself, am an Aussie expat living up here in Scotland.
I’m looking forward to Matt’s book being released.
Just one thing — the TV quiz program Pointless, in my opinion, is an autistic show. The aim is to correctly guess the most obscure answer (not a wrong answer as suggested) — Angela, you would be a whizz on questions about Crowded House.
Keep up the great work.
Hey - yes of course Pointless is very Autistic! As are most game shows here. My husband and I love 9 out of 10 Cats, Taskmaster, University Challenge, and Only Connect (and Mastermind!) all very Autistic. We have an episode on how Jeopardy in the US is Autistic too - check it if you haven't already!
BTW - the book is mine and was written by me so I hope it doesn't disappoint you. :-P
You will definitely hear a lot of Matt's ideas in there as he is a big influence to me and did a round of edits where he added things to what I was attributing to him. <3
Episode idea: taskmaster is autistic?!
Ok, I must’ve misunderstood Matt’s plug of the book, but I’m still looking forward to it.
I’m sure I’ll have listened to the Jeopardy episode — I’ve been binging on the Podcast, at work, since I discovered it — sometimes up to four episodes a day.
I did audition for the Australian Jeopardy show thirty odd years ago, but didn’t get past the first step, lol