Hi, I've been a viewer since season one but only just recently created my account. Diagnosed Autistic in early childhood, now in my late 20s. Can't afford a paid membership at the moment as I'm about to start OT school and that isn't cheap, but still wanted to put forth an idea I've had for an episode, one that I'm surprised hasn't been tackled yet.
You two might not relate to this super well since you're both from older generations who grew up before the internet dominated everything and it was easier to connect with people irl. Nowadays, I feel dating has become nearly impossible for the majority of Autistics, though imo straight men have it particularly hard due to certain ancient cultural expectations that just won't die, such as being expected to initiate conversations with women.
I've also observed both from Autistic women I have met irl and amongst Autistic social media personalities I have come across that it seems like a lot of Autistic straight (and bi) women prefer being with allistic men over their fellow Autistics, which hasn't exactly been great for the ol' mental health. Though apparently there's research pointing to the opposite conclusion?
The dark side of all this is that many Autistic men in their desperation turn to con artists like Andrew Tate and and become full-on incels. Though most of us don't only want the physical part, we also just want someone to appreciate and love us who isn't our parents...
So yeah, this turned into a much longer rant than I originally intended, but I'm wondering if yall could tackle this in a future episode, presumably one of the Friday ones since it's a more serious topic?
Hi! Sami here, the new Content Manager, and I'm from Gen Z so I feel like I can answer this well. My boyfriend is also autistic, so I can't speak to straight autistic women only wanting to date allistic men. What I can say (and I hope this can give you some hope) is that all autistic women that I know that have had an allistic partner have not ended up feeling seen or understood in that partnership, and we usually end up preferring a partner who is more understanding of our support needs.
I've seen firsthand the harmful rise of incel culture and figures like Andrew Tate, Joe Rogan, Elon Musk, et cetera. That is such a nuanced topic, but one I've always wanted to dive into. I think that cultivating autistic community, in short, is how that epidemic needs to be handled moving forward. Having role models in the autism community that men can look up to - essentially cultivating the antithesis to these male podcaster types - seems to be a way that we could dispel this.
I think that this could be such an interesting topic to cover, but one that has to be covered with nuance and understanding of course. I'd love to see the research behind this as well - and contribute some of my own personal understanding and anecdotes as well. Thanks for sharing this and we will definitely keep it in mind for a future episode topic!
Hi Sami! Thanks for the awesome response! I totally agree about the need to cultivate Autistic community, and the lack of a well-cultivated community plays a huge role in why so many of us are so lonely. I just haven't seen nearly as much interest in the autistic community at large (especially in Gen Z and younger millenials), at least in my personal life as I wish there was. There have been attempts to build infrastructure that would help us connect, such as the dating app Hiki (which has since enshittified by adding a paid tier and expanding to non-Autistic NDs), but none of the attempts I have seen have caught on with enough of the population to really be successful, and I think the shame many Autistics feel due to living in a world not built for us is a big part of why we don't try harder to reach out. That's why I love this podcast so much, because it really emphasizes the positive and empowering aspects of being Autistic!
Of course! I've heard of Hiki before, and I think it's such a unique concept and so important to have. I've been looking into doing more community organizing myself (though being Audhd can make this look different to traditional organizing), and the main way that I've cultivated community as an autistic person is through TikTok and other forms of social media (but mostly TikTok). I'm so glad you're enjoying the podcast and that it's empowering you! :)
Okay, you all realize that I fully expected you to discuss Studio Ghibli's Pom Poko, right?! https://ghibli.fandom.com/wiki/Pom_Poko
Ooh, good suggestion - we love Studio Ghibli here! Maybe this will have to be a future episode topic?
Hi, I've been a viewer since season one but only just recently created my account. Diagnosed Autistic in early childhood, now in my late 20s. Can't afford a paid membership at the moment as I'm about to start OT school and that isn't cheap, but still wanted to put forth an idea I've had for an episode, one that I'm surprised hasn't been tackled yet.
You two might not relate to this super well since you're both from older generations who grew up before the internet dominated everything and it was easier to connect with people irl. Nowadays, I feel dating has become nearly impossible for the majority of Autistics, though imo straight men have it particularly hard due to certain ancient cultural expectations that just won't die, such as being expected to initiate conversations with women.
I've also observed both from Autistic women I have met irl and amongst Autistic social media personalities I have come across that it seems like a lot of Autistic straight (and bi) women prefer being with allistic men over their fellow Autistics, which hasn't exactly been great for the ol' mental health. Though apparently there's research pointing to the opposite conclusion?
The dark side of all this is that many Autistic men in their desperation turn to con artists like Andrew Tate and and become full-on incels. Though most of us don't only want the physical part, we also just want someone to appreciate and love us who isn't our parents...
So yeah, this turned into a much longer rant than I originally intended, but I'm wondering if yall could tackle this in a future episode, presumably one of the Friday ones since it's a more serious topic?
Hi! Sami here, the new Content Manager, and I'm from Gen Z so I feel like I can answer this well. My boyfriend is also autistic, so I can't speak to straight autistic women only wanting to date allistic men. What I can say (and I hope this can give you some hope) is that all autistic women that I know that have had an allistic partner have not ended up feeling seen or understood in that partnership, and we usually end up preferring a partner who is more understanding of our support needs.
I've seen firsthand the harmful rise of incel culture and figures like Andrew Tate, Joe Rogan, Elon Musk, et cetera. That is such a nuanced topic, but one I've always wanted to dive into. I think that cultivating autistic community, in short, is how that epidemic needs to be handled moving forward. Having role models in the autism community that men can look up to - essentially cultivating the antithesis to these male podcaster types - seems to be a way that we could dispel this.
I think that this could be such an interesting topic to cover, but one that has to be covered with nuance and understanding of course. I'd love to see the research behind this as well - and contribute some of my own personal understanding and anecdotes as well. Thanks for sharing this and we will definitely keep it in mind for a future episode topic!
Hi Sami! Thanks for the awesome response! I totally agree about the need to cultivate Autistic community, and the lack of a well-cultivated community plays a huge role in why so many of us are so lonely. I just haven't seen nearly as much interest in the autistic community at large (especially in Gen Z and younger millenials), at least in my personal life as I wish there was. There have been attempts to build infrastructure that would help us connect, such as the dating app Hiki (which has since enshittified by adding a paid tier and expanding to non-Autistic NDs), but none of the attempts I have seen have caught on with enough of the population to really be successful, and I think the shame many Autistics feel due to living in a world not built for us is a big part of why we don't try harder to reach out. That's why I love this podcast so much, because it really emphasizes the positive and empowering aspects of being Autistic!
Of course! I've heard of Hiki before, and I think it's such a unique concept and so important to have. I've been looking into doing more community organizing myself (though being Audhd can make this look different to traditional organizing), and the main way that I've cultivated community as an autistic person is through TikTok and other forms of social media (but mostly TikTok). I'm so glad you're enjoying the podcast and that it's empowering you! :)